Author: Vian Wheatley

Take a deep breath today before you start the day. We got this!

You probably went to bed last night already anxious for what today will bring. I did last night (so I know the feeling) since all I could think about was waking up at 4a so that I can get all my work deliverables done for the day.

So this morning, let’s focus on making it right. Create a space to take care of you first so that your day can be great. It may be different for all of us. For me it works like this – prayer and meditation, taking a hot shower and focusing on my skin care routine, and taking a few sips of my coffee before I log in for work. I did change one step – I accessorized. Seems silly since I work from home but it did change my mood.

Avoid Thinking Traps today. If you have not heard of this term, read this blog from Lyra Health – Getting to Know Your Thinking Traps. You can stop the downward spiral. Our minds are powerful and we can overcome negative thinking traps. One positive thinking habit can improve your day. Start with taking a deep breath and let it all go.

Week 1 has just concluded and already we are in our Week 2 of this new year. I don’t know about you but last week has been a hellish week already. It gave way to a whole level of anxiety like no other. 

To unwind all the panic, I watched Instagram reels and to my surprise, my feed was flooded with a lot of girls and their Stanley cups. I am obsessed with cups of all kinds and trust me, I will buy them, so my family keeps me in check. Last month, I kept hinting at a Stanley. Do I need it? Definitely not but it’s all the rage right now, especially, the new pink and red ones that were sold exclusively at Target. I must be out of touch but it’s almost like Black Friday all over again – why?

I started reading about how Stanleys morphed into a must-have and boils down to INFLUENCE and 3 women. If you are interested in reading more, click this NY Times article for more info. This 100-year institution finally listened to women and thanks to the sisterhood of stanley, they are now reaping the benefits of their unprecedented sale since early 2020s. 

I picked this topic today as a reminder to all the women out there, who like me, are dreamers. You will be heard. Your opinions matter. Your voice matters. Persevere. Pursue. Keep on going. I am. 

It is never too late to start again once you have set your mind to a goal. Sometimes it does feel like you are behind the 8-ball, but it is ok. The most important part is that you are starting (or starting over again). Trust me, I know. My blog has been an on and off start, but I keep picking this up because it is important to me. 

Today can be your start. Let us create this online sisterhood of support. Sometimes I don’t know what I am doing but I keep going.  

In a few hours, the new year begins. It is again time for reflection and hope springing for all of us. This year has been a mixture of goodness and heartaches. 

As my usual, I start with reading my journal on how I closed and opened 2023. I started 2023 with an expectant heart for expansion – for myself, my family, and our business.  I prayed for balance, anchoring and centering, and for God to remind me of my first love – Jesus. 

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

I did not know what to expect for 2023. My exact prayer in my journal was, “I can get overwhelmed, stressed, and frustrated. I will lose hope and feel that things are too much. So always take me back. Anchor me. Let me remember your promises, your faithfulness. I pray for balance. I pray for stability. I pray for your goodness to follow me and my family for the rest of our lives.” Looking back a year from that day, little did I know how powerful this prayer was. There were highs and lows, expected for the seasons of life. 

The highs were the celebration of life and the milestones – personally and collectively as a family. The pictures that were posted on social medias or the sharing of stories about with friends and families. I am blessed, more than what I could have asked for. Impossible prayers were answered as manifestations of God’s faithfulness. The biggest highlights were our travels. We splurged on travel this year – our family’s love language. 

The lows were battles fought internally, never seen in public – just shared with intimate few. Personally, I wrestled with a lot of issues, I was thinking it is my mid-life crisis. I worked too many hours and spent too little time on myself. I became a work horse and realized too late the isolation I have put myself in. I lost my verve, my passion, my creativity, my need for personal connections. 

I am not afraid to say it publicly – I have a high functioning anxiety and sought help for the first time. There were too many panic attacks at night, tension headaches that won’t go away, and the perpetual throbbing neck/shoulder pain. I was paired with a mental health coach who showed me how to work through my issues. I am reapplying boundaries and avoiding thinking traps that can make me spiral down quickly. I am still a work in progress – it is not easy. 

I also realized in my deep moments that God led me through my mountain top season, not a mid-life crisis. I am learning the meaning of full surrender. It is hard my friends. It is hard to give up the worry because in doing so, you are not in control anymore (you never were). Trust in the process – it is excruciatingly hard. Write them down so that when you descend from your mountaintop experience, you can look back and marvel. My journal reads of pains, heartaches, doubts, fears, hope, excitement. In between pages, there are promises given for the future. I am also giving myself the chance to rediscover myself with new things. 

All these are still with me as I wait for the new year to start. A few hours won’t change them in an instant. I am, however, positively hopeful that my situation will change in the first quarter of the year. There will be major decisions to be made – bold ones that will get me out of comfort zone. I am approaching this year from a position of victory not of fear. It’s a mindset change. It’s a lifestyle change. It is saying I am going to live the glory days that God promised for me and my family. 

If you are reading this, let us help each other up. Connection is a big key. Let us welcome 2024 with a positive outlook that our lives will be more meaningful. Let us have that fire in our bellies once more. 

Happy New Year to us all!

I have hit the delete button more than one time as I sit here for an hour now not knowing how to put my thoughts on a post.

I started with possibly talking about our fireplace and the beautifully decorated Christmas tree next to it. Deleted that. Started over with stating the obvious that I haven’t posted since February, that I was frozen in winter season. Deleted that.

Rewrote again about reflecting how 2022 has been very good to me. Hit Delete button again. I did not want this post to sound like a diary. Deleted the sentence before this yet again.

Nothing. No words of wisdom. Nothing that could move me past this wall of blank creativity.

Only one thing that struck me is that I can start over. Again.

And maybe this is a message for someone who is reading my post, that although it appears meaningless to me, to you it is not.

Maybe what you need to hear is that there is a Delete button that you can use to start over. Again. Then Yet again.

Tomorrow, we can do it again. Maybe tonight we rest and put all thoughts aside to await the new dawn. Tomorrow is just a few hours away but in this moment, we just need to take a deep cleansing breath. And believe. It’s the season after all.

Delete makes sense. Delete starts over.

Today, I am writing from South Beach Miami. My husband and I finally made this trip after two years of booking the trip and cancelling due to COVID. The weather is the perfect reprieve from the gloomy Ohio winter. I can see the rolling waves of the blue-green ocean from our balcony and making me forget the bustling sounds of Miami vibe. I miss the land of birth whenever I see the ocean.

So, I took a leisurely stroll on the beach this morning and soaked it all in. The sun, the ocean, the vibe, and the pause – what life is offering me at this moment. As you have been reading, I am learning how to relax and enjoy the past few weeks. Life is giving me breadcrumbs that will lead to my destiny and purpose.

For right now, my goal is to enjoy and look at the beauty that surrounds me – every little thing. Who knows – my next big thing may be inspired here in Miami?

I leave you with the sounds of South Beach this morning… Have a great Friday and enjoy as our week ends.