Author: Vian Wheatley

In a few hours, the new year begins. It is again time for reflection and hope springing for all of us. This year has been a mixture of goodness and heartaches. 

As my usual, I start with reading my journal on how I closed and opened 2023. I started 2023 with an expectant heart for expansion – for myself, my family, and our business.  I prayed for balance, anchoring and centering, and for God to remind me of my first love – Jesus. 

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

I did not know what to expect for 2023. My exact prayer in my journal was, “I can get overwhelmed, stressed, and frustrated. I will lose hope and feel that things are too much. So always take me back. Anchor me. Let me remember your promises, your faithfulness. I pray for balance. I pray for stability. I pray for your goodness to follow me and my family for the rest of our lives.” Looking back a year from that day, little did I know how powerful this prayer was. There were highs and lows, expected for the seasons of life. 

The highs were the celebration of life and the milestones – personally and collectively as a family. The pictures that were posted on social medias or the sharing of stories about with friends and families. I am blessed, more than what I could have asked for. Impossible prayers were answered as manifestations of God’s faithfulness. The biggest highlights were our travels. We splurged on travel this year – our family’s love language. 

The lows were battles fought internally, never seen in public – just shared with intimate few. Personally, I wrestled with a lot of issues, I was thinking it is my mid-life crisis. I worked too many hours and spent too little time on myself. I became a work horse and realized too late the isolation I have put myself in. I lost my verve, my passion, my creativity, my need for personal connections. 

I am not afraid to say it publicly – I have a high functioning anxiety and sought help for the first time. There were too many panic attacks at night, tension headaches that won’t go away, and the perpetual throbbing neck/shoulder pain. I was paired with a mental health coach who showed me how to work through my issues. I am reapplying boundaries and avoiding thinking traps that can make me spiral down quickly. I am still a work in progress – it is not easy. 

I also realized in my deep moments that God led me through my mountain top season, not a mid-life crisis. I am learning the meaning of full surrender. It is hard my friends. It is hard to give up the worry because in doing so, you are not in control anymore (you never were). Trust in the process – it is excruciatingly hard. Write them down so that when you descend from your mountaintop experience, you can look back and marvel. My journal reads of pains, heartaches, doubts, fears, hope, excitement. In between pages, there are promises given for the future. I am also giving myself the chance to rediscover myself with new things. 

All these are still with me as I wait for the new year to start. A few hours won’t change them in an instant. I am, however, positively hopeful that my situation will change in the first quarter of the year. There will be major decisions to be made – bold ones that will get me out of comfort zone. I am approaching this year from a position of victory not of fear. It’s a mindset change. It’s a lifestyle change. It is saying I am going to live the glory days that God promised for me and my family. 

If you are reading this, let us help each other up. Connection is a big key. Let us welcome 2024 with a positive outlook that our lives will be more meaningful. Let us have that fire in our bellies once more. 

Happy New Year to us all!

I have hit the delete button more than one time as I sit here for an hour now not knowing how to put my thoughts on a post.

I started with possibly talking about our fireplace and the beautifully decorated Christmas tree next to it. Deleted that. Started over with stating the obvious that I haven’t posted since February, that I was frozen in winter season. Deleted that.

Rewrote again about reflecting how 2022 has been very good to me. Hit Delete button again. I did not want this post to sound like a diary. Deleted the sentence before this yet again.

Nothing. No words of wisdom. Nothing that could move me past this wall of blank creativity.

Only one thing that struck me is that I can start over. Again.

And maybe this is a message for someone who is reading my post, that although it appears meaningless to me, to you it is not.

Maybe what you need to hear is that there is a Delete button that you can use to start over. Again. Then Yet again.

Tomorrow, we can do it again. Maybe tonight we rest and put all thoughts aside to await the new dawn. Tomorrow is just a few hours away but in this moment, we just need to take a deep cleansing breath. And believe. It’s the season after all.

Delete makes sense. Delete starts over.

Today, I am writing from South Beach Miami. My husband and I finally made this trip after two years of booking the trip and cancelling due to COVID. The weather is the perfect reprieve from the gloomy Ohio winter. I can see the rolling waves of the blue-green ocean from our balcony and making me forget the bustling sounds of Miami vibe. I miss the land of birth whenever I see the ocean.

So, I took a leisurely stroll on the beach this morning and soaked it all in. The sun, the ocean, the vibe, and the pause – what life is offering me at this moment. As you have been reading, I am learning how to relax and enjoy the past few weeks. Life is giving me breadcrumbs that will lead to my destiny and purpose.

For right now, my goal is to enjoy and look at the beauty that surrounds me – every little thing. Who knows – my next big thing may be inspired here in Miami?

I leave you with the sounds of South Beach this morning… Have a great Friday and enjoy as our week ends.

Today, I am present. I am connecting. I will be better than I was yesterday. I will let go of things that I cannot control. I will listen to the interruptions of the day. I will find my joy. I will praise God in the midst of everything. I will be content. I am grateful. I am going to enjoy this journey of today. I will be the reason that someone smiles today.

Last week taught me to embrace and allow the small interruptions in my daily life. As you all know, on top of our full-time jobs, we are also starting our business (check it out here – Fyzical Centerville). We are opening soon and with that my anxiety is leaping out like a jack-in-a box. Hits me sometimes out of nowhere when I think about my growing list of things that we have not done and more importantly, the expenses!

Writing should have been my solace, but this too has made it as a to-do list. Overwhelmed, I turn to only thing that has been my refuge – down on my knees to surrender all the swirl I have created. The pearl of wisdom that I received is to enjoy this journey of my life and surrender to the daily interruptions. Psalm 34 tells me to taste and see the goodness of God.

So, I let go. There is nothing else for me to do but to let go of things I cannot control. It is hard as you can imagine if you know me. My mind is constantly thinking, strategically planning, writing goals, etc. so this slowing down is a process. I need to use the gifts given me to my advantage not to work against me.

Slowing down does come with pleasant surprises. Every morning when I drop off my youngest son to school, I look forward to watching the sun rise. It is quite enchanting to see each morning unfolds – the burst of color is different each time. Never fails to give me that feeling of bliss.

Life is beautiful my friends. Let us enjoy this ride for it is the only one we will ever get. Find the beauty in the trivial things – like the sunrise or hug from a loved one. If you are feeling overwhelmed today, stop and take a deep breath. Cry, if you need to. Let it all melt away. Slow down, my friend. Let us enjoy this journey together.