Your Present Is Not Your Future         

I am writing this time on a flight to Atlanta from Albuquerque and somewhere above Oklahoma, at ground speed of 672 mph. I still have 1 hour and 27 minutes before I get to Atlanta and make my way back home to Ohio. It has been a long day already with my original flight out of Dallas canceled due to the inclement weather. It was a mad scramble to find one from a different airline at 6a while dreading another notification that this new flight would be canceled as well. I dared not heave a sigh of relief – not until we were up in the air and the captain said that we would be ahead of schedule. What a morning and what a day!

Fifteen days into the new year and I am mentally spent. Pardon me if I cannot share the full extent of current situation just yet. In time, I will share and perhaps my journey will give encouragement to those who feel overburdened, overworked, overstretched, and coming up still empty. Those that I have talked to know exactly what I am going through. My family, especially my husband, has been such a source of strength and encouragement. 

I want to share something that may not resonate, and perhaps everyone may not agree with, but I am hoping that in sharing, you will get encouragement and refreshing in your soul. It is easy to feel isolated (you may even be isolating yourself without even knowing it) and feel that no one understands the depths of your despair (just like Jeremiah did). I hope in sharing this, you will know that you are not alone. We need to create our village so we don’t live in an island of isolation. 

Photo:Rachel McDermott/Unsplash.com

Last week, in my pondering moments and feeling some semblance of hopelessness, I asked out loud to myself while I was driving – how does hope springs eternal? Where do you find this hope that it can spring up when the ground you are standing on is bone dry? Then, I remembered, the story of Joseph. I have been studying his life for more than a year now. I said out loud – Lord, how did Joseph do it? Where did he find the courage to find hope and still praise you? He was in a pit at a young age, sold by his brothers, and yet he still gave you praise, and his faith never wavered? How? He was wrongfully imprisoned, interpreted a dream and yet still forgotten for years until Pharaoh needed his help. 

Then the word resolve came to my mind. I have been ruminating on this word for a few days. To overcome fear and its grip on my current state of mind, I must resolve to have faith. Remind myself in the knowledge that faith is the substance of things I am fervently hoping for – the future that I have no control of.  

That’s when it hit me – resolve comes when you choose to believe that your present is not your future. It has already passed. It cannot stay the same. Maybe this is really where the of hope springs eternal come from. Even when my reality has not changed yet, I know it will because my future is ever changing.

It is hard when you feel hopelessness is staring you in the face – an inescapable vision you cannot photoshop or the anxiety that keeps bubbling up, twisting your gut and the palpable dread you feel in your chest. Sleep evades you sometimes, maybe more times you can count but dare not mention anymore. It is hard, I am there with you. So, I draw from the life of Joseph – his faith and trust God even when his circumstances were hopeless. 

This, I leave with you as I was reading Isaiah 60:1 – Arise, shine for your light has come and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. 

Last Sunday, I also heard this powerful message – for God to work through in your life, you must give Him the space. It struck me right in the core. To create the change, I must allow this space to happen in my life. 

Maybe it was not a coincidence that my flight had to be canceled and I had to be rerouted – my flight plan completely different. This is probably the grace to allow me to create this space to reflect that my plans are being altered by my God who knows what’s ahead of me. I cannot see what that is but I have to believe the impossible can happen. To fervently believe that God watches over me and that, this too shall pass. 

I must listen that my present is not my future.