Category: Uncategorized

It has been awhile since my last post and let me tell you – it has been hectic and a different kind of journey. I feel the need to talk about how to start something new, exciting, and totally out of character for you (including me). A new season that may require for you to get out of the comfort zone and take a small step. I don’t know what is going on with you so let me tell you about mine and hopefully this may encourage you to take a small step of faith.

The Phone Call

My trepidation started with a phone call more than a month ago. No, it was not the phone call announcing I have won millions of dollars (or my fantasy of receiving a huge inheritance from a long-lost uncle or aunt). I have been praying about volunteering and serving at Southeast (my local big church) but in reality, I was so afraid of the commitment. My schedule was already full – I am a full time working mom and my kids have a hectic schedule (meaning sports) and I am piling more.  I barely have time to work out and get my hair done every day.

Word of Wisdom – Don’t let that stop you. If you are in the same predicament of stepping out of your comfort zone, I say GO for it. It is time. You can do it one step at a time. Your confidence will level up, trust me you are going to start believing in yourself. It does not matter how old you are or what stage of life you are in. Courage begins with stepping out of the shadows.

Back to my seemingly innocuous story, I responded to an email about volunteers being needed at the middle school ministry. I stored that email for a week before I responded (thinking they probably just needed someone to be behind a registration desk). God has an odd sense of humor and had other plans in mind (which if he told me I would have said a big fat NO). I was told they needed help with filling up small group leader for the 6^th graders. I was so glad we did not FaceTime because my face fell and was thinking “seriously, I just want to be behind the scenes!” I knew I should have said yes right away but true to form (because fear had a grip on my heart), I replied with “let me pray about it.” Who was I kidding? I was vacillating. I was paralyzed with doubts and concerns.

In the Zone

I was never more of out of comfort zone than when I attended my first leader session (I said yes, the next day after the phone call). I was petrified (to say the least) and for a minute I felt like I was a high school freshman all over again. The room was full of people who already knew each other – teenagers and adults alike. It was a novel feeling because I have never been afraid to meet new people. I have led people all my professional life and yet the idea of being a small group leader of 6^th graders is touching my sense of inadequacy. Every Sunday morning (3 Sundays), I would have an internal debate about quitting because I feel so incompetent – in short, my super abundant confidence is failing me. Big Time!!! My co-leader and the other leaders around me seem to have it together. They know what to do and I sit there with my 6^th graders trying to grasp at straws on how to connect with them (yeah pity party).

However, every week I see the hard work that the staff put together to ensure our middle schoolers have the best experience each week. I saw the genuine love and passion in their hearts and in the other volunteer leaders to lead these children to Jesus. I am humbled to be in such great company whose hearts burn for Christ and my chips started falling away. More importantly, I see the faces of these young boys and girls and their unbridled desire to know God.

Last week, I made a decision (and said it out loud to my husband) that because there is such an internal struggle within me, I will give it my 100% because I need to learn how to get out of my bed of contentment. I want to give it my all and with all I have to give. So, I signed up on the last day of the registration (yes, I procrastinated for 2-3 weeks) for the fall retreat as a leader (my son attended too!). I will tell you all about it on my next post because now looking back just a day after, I can now see how ridiculous I was with my fears, doubts, and worries.

Decide and GO

Does my story sound familiar to you? What is holding you back?  By the way, that is the new series that Southeast is teaching us so it may be worth your time to check the Overcome Series. You have to resist those negative thoughts because you can do it. God is not done with your story yet. All you have to do is make a decision and step out. I leave you with this picture taken during our photo scavenger hunt as a reminder that you can pile and balance one stone at a time. As Paul said with confidence to the Philippians – he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).

10 hours plus 2 in two days and summer has officially touched us. After a few hours in the Emerald Coast, the Florida sun has kissed our skins to deep red. My freckles (or my sun spots as I call it) are emerging like the stars in the deep dark night – only they are red spots not the pretty twinkling lights. What a perfect Sunday! Sun, beach, and sand. I choose to forge the  algae (or seaweed, really doesn’t matter, they were all green).

Look at my view for today.

(Iphone 6S Plus photo by Vian Wheatley)

And tonight, I hear the crickets in this hot and humid Alabama night alongside the shrieks of my boys swimming in the hotel pool. The stars are not out but the night predators (aka bugs) are out for blood. The bugs think they are scoring big on their new Asian dinner.

This is going to be our new tradition for the next four years. A quick getaway between the two very humid states as we watch our daughter bloom into a young adult. I still do not know how I feel about her moving on to college so far away from home. Will I cry? They tell me I would.

The next two days will be a new journey for all of us. She is officially making her first big move towards freedom – college orientation and registration. Exciting times for her and for us but it is making me sad at the same time. My little girl has grown up. It is time for her to rise up and shine. I have always told her that her future is so bright she just has to see it for herself. I am actually excited for her in this new chapter of her life.

I have to end this post now because the bugs are having a feast around me. I end this with Michael Buble’s “Feeling Good” on repeat in my head. I hope you are also ending this day on a high note because you are feeling good!

Birds flying high

You know how I feel

Sun in the sky

You know how I feel

Reeds driftin’ on by

You know how I feel….

It’s a new dawn

It’s a new day

It’s a new life

for me

And I’m feeling good

I’m feeling good

Photo grabbed from iiisawiii on DeviantArt

Today I opted to sit down and write this post as I wait for my boys finish their karate class. Words are being whispered in my ears and are aching to be written so I better heed to the call while I can still grasp these thoughts on paper. It is a constant struggle to find the balance in a world where we have created a cycle of mundane tasks and things to do. So, I choose to sit down today and let my soul express itself in words.

It has been three months since my last post and it feels like I have been plopped on a teeter totter on steroids for the last month. It is only by God’s grace that I have held on and not lost my sanity and hope. Within a week, we celebrated my son’s promotion to Middle School, my daughter’s graduation from High School, my nephew turning two years old, and my dad’s death and funeral.

How can one compress all that emotion in one week? How can one celebrate and grieve at the same time? How can one plan parties and a funeral? How can you be doing ok? These are some of the questions I got and additional comments like “You are such a strong person, you can do this.” I am only strong because of my source of my strength in God and in my family. I had my network of friends that I was able to lean on. I also had joy because of the big milestones we celebrated for my family. Life has to celebrated even in the midst of sorrow. This is the cycle of life.

As I ponder on the events of last month, one thing is true. The human spirit is very resilient in face of adversity but it needs a seed of hope. Without hope, life seems too bleak. For hope to spring eternal, I realized you have to believe in something greater and bigger than yourself. In order to face adversity, one has to believe that the impossible will happen. There is no other way. You have to push through in order to get a breakthrough.

We are unique. We are special. If life gives you lemons, spike up the lemonade! Who says you can’t have fun? There are nuggets of treasures when life gets tough. It may be the realization that you are stronger than you think. It all starts with a seed of hope. Trust me a little bit of hope goes a long way.

I am delighted to see all these little kids practicing for soccer today. They play with all abandon and without any care at all for what tomorrow would bring. It gives me a lot of comfort that I am taking this time to appreciate the beauty around me. With all this organized chaos around me there is a sense of calmness I feel surrounded by these little kids. It warms my soul in this cold and windy day as I sit on this flat rock typing away and my fingers getting numb. My thirty minutes of solitude is a refuge from my busy life. My list of things to do can wait a little bit more. Just a little bit more.

More than ever I am reminded to take a pause and capture the moments. It is not just the big moments. It is about things that I take for granted because they are just there. In the morning when I wake up and get ready for work, I expect that when I shower there is hot water. How many out there consider having hot water as a luxury? A lot of people from other countries. I can go and on about but I know you get my point. I am encouraging you today to stop and feed your soul and spirit and appreciate the beauty around you. This experience is free and endless. These moments can fill up your bucket.

Grabbed from: tinybuddha.com

I am learning to let go of things I cannot control and to take each day as it comes. I know that my tomorrow is so bright. So, I encourage you to do the same no matter how hard. I am learning to just focus on today and trust me, I worry. I am a planner and very goal driven. Today may seem bleak or blurry or just plain hectic but take a deep breath and pause. You can do it. You are a strong person. You can make it. Just stop worrying and trusting that tomorrow will take care of itself. Lift up all your worries and cares so that they will not bring you down. Today is your day, make the most out of it.

Yours truly,

Vian

 

 

 

I dreamt of a long day in bed just doing nothing but alas, it was only just a dream (Nelly’s song in my head)! It was a busy Saturday! Early appointment for our dog, Nova at 8 a.m. (why did I say yes to this again on a Saturday morning was beyond me) and then a baby shower in the afternoon for my sister. Did I mention that we had two soccer games for our boys as well?

So, when my alarm went off at 7:30, I was dreaming that if I just stayed in bed then all these things would just go away. Maybe I was just really dreaming of those things, that they were not real – that it was my parallel universe.

As much as I complain, these things and events are my affirmation of life – time spent with family and friends. Our bellies were full (a buffet table would do that) and our hearts were full of laughter. I love the fact that when we throw parties and you say food is served – my basement door opens and kids just come out and you cannot even count them. They grow up way too fast! They are a testament to our lives that somehow, we are doing things right. In our busy lives, there has to be a conscious effort to connect and celebrate.

Yes, I do love the weekends, however short but they are enough to get me going. I still dream of lazy Saturdays and Sundays but I would rather spend them with my family and friends before we get too old to do anything. My weekday is still filled with work, chores, and practices but I love that this is my reality and not may parallel universe. I have my family and my friends. I am blessed.

Yours Truly,

Vian

 

(Photo grabbed from wildplanetradio.com)