Category: Uncategorized

Photo grabbed from iiisawiii on DeviantArt

Today I opted to sit down and write this post as I wait for my boys finish their karate class. Words are being whispered in my ears and are aching to be written so I better heed to the call while I can still grasp these thoughts on paper. It is a constant struggle to find the balance in a world where we have created a cycle of mundane tasks and things to do. So, I choose to sit down today and let my soul express itself in words.

It has been three months since my last post and it feels like I have been plopped on a teeter totter on steroids for the last month. It is only by God’s grace that I have held on and not lost my sanity and hope. Within a week, we celebrated my son’s promotion to Middle School, my daughter’s graduation from High School, my nephew turning two years old, and my dad’s death and funeral.

How can one compress all that emotion in one week? How can one celebrate and grieve at the same time? How can one plan parties and a funeral? How can you be doing ok? These are some of the questions I got and additional comments like “You are such a strong person, you can do this.” I am only strong because of my source of my strength in God and in my family. I had my network of friends that I was able to lean on. I also had joy because of the big milestones we celebrated for my family. Life has to celebrated even in the midst of sorrow. This is the cycle of life.

As I ponder on the events of last month, one thing is true. The human spirit is very resilient in face of adversity but it needs a seed of hope. Without hope, life seems too bleak. For hope to spring eternal, I realized you have to believe in something greater and bigger than yourself. In order to face adversity, one has to believe that the impossible will happen. There is no other way. You have to push through in order to get a breakthrough.

We are unique. We are special. If life gives you lemons, spike up the lemonade! Who says you can’t have fun? There are nuggets of treasures when life gets tough. It may be the realization that you are stronger than you think. It all starts with a seed of hope. Trust me a little bit of hope goes a long way.

I am delighted to see all these little kids practicing for soccer today. They play with all abandon and without any care at all for what tomorrow would bring. It gives me a lot of comfort that I am taking this time to appreciate the beauty around me. With all this organized chaos around me there is a sense of calmness I feel surrounded by these little kids. It warms my soul in this cold and windy day as I sit on this flat rock typing away and my fingers getting numb. My thirty minutes of solitude is a refuge from my busy life. My list of things to do can wait a little bit more. Just a little bit more.

More than ever I am reminded to take a pause and capture the moments. It is not just the big moments. It is about things that I take for granted because they are just there. In the morning when I wake up and get ready for work, I expect that when I shower there is hot water. How many out there consider having hot water as a luxury? A lot of people from other countries. I can go and on about but I know you get my point. I am encouraging you today to stop and feed your soul and spirit and appreciate the beauty around you. This experience is free and endless. These moments can fill up your bucket.

Grabbed from: tinybuddha.com

I am learning to let go of things I cannot control and to take each day as it comes. I know that my tomorrow is so bright. So, I encourage you to do the same no matter how hard. I am learning to just focus on today and trust me, I worry. I am a planner and very goal driven. Today may seem bleak or blurry or just plain hectic but take a deep breath and pause. You can do it. You are a strong person. You can make it. Just stop worrying and trusting that tomorrow will take care of itself. Lift up all your worries and cares so that they will not bring you down. Today is your day, make the most out of it.

Yours truly,

Vian

 

 

 

I dreamt of a long day in bed just doing nothing but alas, it was only just a dream (Nelly’s song in my head)! It was a busy Saturday! Early appointment for our dog, Nova at 8 a.m. (why did I say yes to this again on a Saturday morning was beyond me) and then a baby shower in the afternoon for my sister. Did I mention that we had two soccer games for our boys as well?

So, when my alarm went off at 7:30, I was dreaming that if I just stayed in bed then all these things would just go away. Maybe I was just really dreaming of those things, that they were not real – that it was my parallel universe.

As much as I complain, these things and events are my affirmation of life – time spent with family and friends. Our bellies were full (a buffet table would do that) and our hearts were full of laughter. I love the fact that when we throw parties and you say food is served – my basement door opens and kids just come out and you cannot even count them. They grow up way too fast! They are a testament to our lives that somehow, we are doing things right. In our busy lives, there has to be a conscious effort to connect and celebrate.

Yes, I do love the weekends, however short but they are enough to get me going. I still dream of lazy Saturdays and Sundays but I would rather spend them with my family and friends before we get too old to do anything. My weekday is still filled with work, chores, and practices but I love that this is my reality and not may parallel universe. I have my family and my friends. I am blessed.

Yours Truly,

Vian

 

(Photo grabbed from wildplanetradio.com)

I started on this post two nights ago and I am glad I did not finish it then. It would have been a whine fest about the woes of motherhood. I am sure I am not alone in this. I love my children but oh boy, three can be a little bit much sometimes. They are my greatest treasures and I am proud to be called their mom (most of the time, when they are on their best behavior when we are out and about). Kidding aside, being a mother is a herculean task and one that requires a lot of grace. Every moment. Every day. Pause. Reboot. Clean Slate.

As I ponder on this repeat and reboot process that goes on every day at my house, it magnifies the same grace I experience every day. The moment I get up from bed to the time I lay my head down after a hectic day, I am given this unencumbered and unequivocal gift from God. I do not even have to ask for it. God just gives it generously and freely. I just hope I do not use it in vain or take it for granted. I am not going to be preachy in this post. I just know that I cannot separate myself from who and what I am with Christ. If it shows in my writing, I hope it will encourage you.

With that reminder for the last two days, I have been more appreciative of my children and the short time I have with them before they become adults. Last night I was at the end of my thin rope (meaning my patience). It has been a long few months for us; what with my husband working long hours at his new(er) job and I have been left with most of the running around for everything. Did I say I work full-time? We just got home from soccer practice and I still need to get dinner ready. The boys started arguing (thank goodness, their big sister is at work) and whining and everything that boys do at their age (10 and 7). I was about ready to explode and then suddenly, I got reminded I have to show them grace. This was after our little video session (me recording the 7-year-old and showing him his whiny video). They were being little boys after all and it was not their fault I was having a hectic day already.

So we talked and had an adult conversation on how they need to change their behavior so that we can be in harmony together. Meaning – mom (me) will not be so mean every day (I do not think I am that mean though) and be so stressed out as soon she gets home. Now I am wondering if I will be like my children when God will do the “come to Jesus” moment with me. Will I be so willing to listen and change right away like I expect my kids to be? Will I be willing to become different?

What I know for sure is that I will probably do the same thing again (and maybe again) and ask for forgiveness (for the nth time). Oh, how this repeat and reboot process happens all the time! I am so glad that God’s mercies are new every morning. I am thankful and grateful. My cup runs over. I hope you will also realize your own repeat and reboot moments. When everything seems to close in and overwhelming, you are not alone. Just look up and look around you. You can start over again like I do every morning. You can rewrite the future. If you think it is impossible, just believe. You will get there. I am getting there. One step at a time.

Yours truly,

Vian

(Photo grabbed from rebootshow.fm)

I have been given an incentive to write more and make no more excuses. My husband just bought me a new laptop to replace my old netbook which was super slow. It was a total surprise purchase today. I had to walk around Best Buy for a few minutes to think it over because this means I have to be serious about working on my passion. This is game time. It was supposed to be game time a few years ago when I asked for the netbook but alas, life got a little hectic. I need to build on my passion which means I have to spend time on what I love doing, incentive or not. I can make it happen. It needs to happen to fuel my soul.

So, here I am in the darkness of our bedroom and with no glasses on, maneuvering and clicking in the dark to write my first with this brand-new laptop. Sleep eludes me right now so either I should blame it on my mind that is whirling with endless possibilities or on the time change today. Either way, tomorrow is another long day but I will not let it cast a shadow on my happiness.

As I am writing this, the time change slogan “Spring Forward” comes to mind. It is very fitting to what I am doing right now. I need to dream dreams that are bigger than me. I need to believe that the impossible can happen so I need to spring forward and seize the countless opportunities that will be coming my way. Hope springs eternal and Carpe Diem!

Join me on my journey and together let us move forward with our goals, with our dreams, and with a well of hope that never runs dry. You are probably in the same situation as I am – a working mom and a wife with a calendar full of activities for a growing family or maybe not. However, just like me you need a push to define yourself again. I hope to inspire you to take one step at a time with me. I do not know where this will lead us but I am excited. This is my incentive to spring forward – the adventure of what on earth I am here for. I am hopeful and anxious but not scared or afraid. Let us traverse this life together.

Yours truly,

Vian