It has been awhile since my last post and let me tell you – it has been hectic and a different kind of journey. I feel the need to talk about how to start something new, exciting, and totally out of character for you (including me). A new season that may require for you to get out of the comfort zone and take a small step. I don’t know what is going on with you so let me tell you about mine and hopefully this may encourage you to take a small step of faith.
The Phone Call
My trepidation started with a phone call more than a month ago. No, it was not the phone call announcing I have won millions of dollars (or my fantasy of receiving a huge inheritance from a long-lost uncle or aunt). I have been praying about volunteering and serving at Southeast (my local big church) but in reality, I was so afraid of the commitment. My schedule was already full – I am a full time working mom and my kids have a hectic schedule (meaning sports) and I am piling more. I barely have time to work out and get my hair done every day.
Word of Wisdom – Don’t let that stop you. If you are in the same predicament of stepping out of your comfort zone, I say GO for it. It is time. You can do it one step at a time. Your confidence will level up, trust me you are going to start believing in yourself. It does not matter how old you are or what stage of life you are in. Courage begins with stepping out of the shadows.
Back to my seemingly innocuous story, I responded to an email about volunteers being needed at the middle school ministry. I stored that email for a week before I responded (thinking they probably just needed someone to be behind a registration desk). God has an odd sense of humor and had other plans in mind (which if he told me I would have said a big fat NO). I was told they needed help with filling up small group leader for the 6th graders. I was so glad we did not FaceTime because my face fell and was thinking “seriously, I just want to be behind the scenes!” I knew I should have said yes right away but true to form (because fear had a grip on my heart), I replied with “let me pray about it.” Who was I kidding? I was vacillating. I was paralyzed with doubts and concerns.
In the Zone
I was never more of out of comfort zone than when I attended my first leader session (I said yes, the next day after the phone call). I was petrified (to say the least) and for a minute I felt like I was a high school freshman all over again. The room was full of people who already knew each other – teenagers and adults alike. It was a novel feeling because I have never been afraid to meet new people. I have led people all my professional life and yet the idea of being a small group leader of 6th graders is touching my sense of inadequacy. Every Sunday morning (3 Sundays), I would have an internal debate about quitting because I feel so incompetent – in short, my super abundant confidence is failing me. Big Time!!! My co-leader and the other leaders around me seem to have it together. They know what to do and I sit there with my 6th graders trying to grasp at straws on how to connect with them (yeah pity party).
However, every week I see the hard work that the staff put together to ensure our middle schoolers have the best experience each week. I saw the genuine love and passion in their hearts and in the other volunteer leaders to lead these children to Jesus. I am humbled to be in such great company whose hearts burn for Christ and my chips started falling away. More importantly, I see the faces of these young boys and girls and their unbridled desire to know God.
Last week, I made a decision (and said it out loud to my husband) that because there is such an internal struggle within me, I will give it my 100% because I need to learn how to get out of my bed of contentment. I want to give it my all and with all I have to give. So, I signed up on the last day of the registration (yes, I procrastinated for 2-3 weeks) for the fall retreat as a leader (my son attended too!). I will tell you all about it on my next post because now looking back just a day after, I can now see how ridiculous I was with my fears, doubts, and worries.
Decide and GO
Does my story sound familiar to you? What is holding you back? By the way, that is the new series that Southeast is teaching us so it may be worth your time to check the Overcome Series. You have to resist those negative thoughts because you can do it. God is not done with your story yet. All you have to do is make a decision and step out. I leave you with this picture taken during our photo scavenger hunt as a reminder that you can pile and balance one stone at a time. As Paul said with confidence to the Philippians – he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).
Vian Wheatley 